Pandora's Agony

I can’t stop regretting
All I’ve done was to harm myself
I can’t stop regretting
Since the first day I am waiting for the end

I can’t stop regretting of all the evil in the world
I can’t stop regretting of each small step I took in this way
I can’t stop regretting of waiting for the one
And can’t stop regretting believing in an end for my pain

How can I be so tired and hopeless?
Why does it hurt when I open my eyes?
How can everything seem so extremely senseless?
Will I have to wait patiently while all the good in me dies?

It hurts every time I look back
Yet I can’t find anything I would change
In the end, I couldn’t live without my pain
And I hold on to the painful memories
As if it would be even worse without them
Only emptiness, all I have

Can’t stop regretting everything I have done
Even while I was doing I knew I was doing wrong
Yet doesn’t matter how much I try
I will never know how it is to do right

A curse or just destiny
I fear I will never know
I just know that, while my end doesnt come
All I cand do is go on
Bringing disgrace to my world...

Convulsion

Any place to run to
Anymore
Those tears are not there
Anymore
They are here
My biggest fear
Is to be here now

The more I scream
More silence I hear
Around me

My glass cage has become the only place
And I got so used to the pain
I can barely feel anything else. Anymore.

My biggest fear is belonging in here.

All all of you say sounds so fake and meaningless
Although I tried to believe
Although I tried to achieve
Although I tried to live
I tried.
I tried not to cry

My glass cage has become the only place
And I got so used to the pain
I can barely feel my wings. Anymore.

Any place to run to
Anymore
Those tears are not there
Anymore
They are here
My biggest fear
Is to be here now

My biggest fear Is belonging in here


My glass cage has become the only place
And I got so used to the pain
I cannot escape. Anymore.

Canção do Exílio

dedicado à Katrina de Salém

Arrastei-me e sangrei

Implorei-te e chorei

Leva-me de volta

Aos braços daquele que jamais encontrei

Anos recebendo o silêncio

Agora eu sei

Em meio a cinzas e podridão me ergo

Se esta é minha sina, aceito

Farei deste inferno minha casa

E desta sujeira meu leito

Canto a canção do exílio

Sabendo que jamais retornarei

Fui abandonada em um mundo estranho

“Mate para viver” “Obedeça a esta lei”

Enquanto eles me prendem ao chão

Penso se devo deixar que algo daqui me toque

Ou somente refugiar-me em solidão

Fora do lugar, sem rumo

Entregue à minha própria sorte

Seco a lágrima amarga

Sentindo-me culpada por perder a fé

Pai presente e calado

Disseste-me coisas que não pude entender

Seco a lágrima amarga

Sentindo-me culpada por não saber

Por que fui deixada, expulsa

Por que dói tanto apenas sobreviver

Olho para este céu de estrelas encobertas

Mais solitária que meu coração poderia algum dia suportar

Enquanto sinto a dor dilacerando o peito

Eu sei que, apesar de tudo

Ainda tenho a esperança de retornar

Àquele lugar que, tenho certeza, algum dia chamei de lar

 

In a Friday Morning

As if life was simple
No more masks to show
No more lies to grow
As if live was simple

As if life was simple
I forget everything that hurts me
and open my eyes in a sincere smile
As if live was simple

As if I could pretend there's nothing wrong
Anything else to get done
Happines is in the next door
As if life was simple

All masks falling down
All lies forget in the past
Cause there's anymore trouble in being just myself
I open my eyes with a sincere smile
As if live was simple

Cause you can't imagine
How peaceful it is
When we're all together
As if we had nothing to say
Anymore hiding pains
As if live was simple

Not Enough

I look around
I search for
I take a breath
A tear falls

Nowhere feels like home
No place feels like mine
And I am just too tired
To keep looking for a reason why

And this hole in my heart
Why does it still hurt?
Why does it still burn?
And why are so heavy, my tears?
I thought my life had had a turn

Why in the end we have to go back to the beginning?

Why suddenly I am bleeding again?
I fall in my knees, a piercing pain
I just can’t breath, it all again

And in the end (so fool)
I still wait
For someone who could save
This dead princess from a killing pain


And this hole in my heart
Why does it still hurt?
Why does it still burn?
And why are so heavy, my tears?
I thought my life had had a turn





I just don’t have enough words
Or a enough heavy one
And in each end I’m always sure
The world will never know
How much it hurts

Fearless

You fucking hate me

Because I look so dead

You don’t remember

You killed me yourself

You made me this

You hate all you did

And all this hate is

A result

Of your power of destruction

Look behind and remember

Tell me a day

When you weren’t this monster

You know you have become

All your hate comes from

The fact that you know

What I look outside

Is inside of you so

Much more then you could show

I show

Fearless

I know

Who I am

Look behind and remember

Tell me a day

When you weren’t this monster

You know you have become

Your colorful clothes

Can’t hide

You are so rotten inside

All this mourning and pain

You hate

Because it’s just something you made

Your blissful smile

Can’t hide

You are so rammish inside

You are afraid of what you could see inside of yourself

You are afraid of what I could show, I know

But I am not

I am fearless

I show

Fearless

I know

Who I am

I show

Fearless

I know

Who you are

Deep Agony

You cannot imagine
How it is to live in agony
Every second
Without a time to breath
You cannot imagine how it is to never rest in peace

Looking inside myself
For something that shows me I'm still alive
I find only loneliness
Not a tear to cry

And it doesn't matter
Doesn't matter the voices around me
I am still alone
I will always be
Nowhere feels like home
Doesn't matter if you say I can choose
The pain is still here
It has consumed me

And I am empty
Not knowing what I am

Could you understand?
Could anyone else take this pain?

And I feel so sick
I feel like giving up
Feel like I am falling
So heavy, feelig worse

You cannot imagine
How it is to be here
An eternity locking myself inside of me

Trying to see through the dark
I am so tired
Looking for a reason why
I am so blind
No more trying to ignore
I am so lost

You cannot imagine
How it is to be bleeding
Every second
Without a chance to be me
You cannot imagine how it is to never rest in peace

If I could just say
How deep is this ache
If I could just cry
And make it go away...

The Thorns

Do not get closer
Do not touch the rose
When I tell you to be aware
I know you will get hurt

Hipnotized by the velvet red and danger
One more step you take
Wanting to be close
Just because it's so far away
Bad reasons
Bad end

And don't try to dry my tears
You will end up poisoning
All the beautful things
You could find on it

Do not touch the rose
As pretty as it can be
Do not get any closer
As tempting it may seem
Don't try too hard to be the one
The fragile bridge can come undone

And when you see your blood staining the thorns
It will be too late
I will just say 'I told you'
And sadly get away

Vicious

Once again

It all again

I see the blood

I feel the pain

Stop it

Stop it

Just make it go away

I wish

I wish I could breath

I wish I could feel

Something beyond that agony

That makes me fall in my knees

Every single time I see

What really is around me

The nothing

It burns my throat

But I can’t cry

It would just show

That slowly I die

It burns my throat

But I’ll just lie

I won’t let them know

I’m too tired to try

And I’ll wait for the day

I’ll feel alive in the right way

Not just because of the pain

Not just because of the pain I feel

When I realize the most precious things aren’t real

Could you one day

Just show up and kill the pain?

Kiss my lips and say good night

Lead me to bed

I don’t want to wake up

I don’t want to cry

Calling the name of the one

I will never have in my arms

Olá, seres humanos leitores deste blog. Estou passando para uma breve observação.
 Sim, a boca das fotos ao lado que agora ilustram os dois blogs é minha. O efeito maravilhoso foi adicionado pela Sofia, que além de ser ótima com as fotos se revela igualmente talentosa na escrita. Seu blog está na lista, ao lado direito do blog, aproveitem. Ela também acrescentou a moldura na foto original, a de baixo, que acabou ficando com esse efeito de pele branca simplesmente por um defeito na minha webcam.

Gostaram? Procurem o blog da Sofia aí em baixo e falem com ela.
 Até o próximo post.

Damned

Lutando contra o medo
De ser consumida, lentamente, pelo silêncio
Enquanto arrasto, dolorosamente, correntes
A dor em meu peito

Lutando contra o medo
De ser consumida, lentamente, pela maré que me arrasta
Fincando meu pé, firmemente, me recuso a ser a caça
O peso em meu peito

Por mais que doa, permanecerei aqui
Se apenas me deixar levar é o antídoto para a dor
Que me consuma, então
Aceitarei o que vier, seja o que for

Mas jamais vestirei de bom grado
As algemas, as correntes que arrasto
Tentar quebrá-las machuca
Deixe me sangrar
Ainda há a chama, a fé
De que um dia isso tudo vai cessar

Os abultres me rodeiam
Minha carne não os alimentará
Os abultres me rodeiam
Aguarde, eternamente
Minha alma me pertence e assim será
Até o fim da vida
Manterei a minha mente
A única coisa que ainda me pertence

A dor jamais fará sentido para quem não a sente
O grito não pode ser entendido por quem não possui ouvidos
Carregarei comigo
A maldição de viver entre os malditos

A solidão presente em cada momento
Olhar em volta e ver chega a doer por dentro (eu sangro)
Carregarei comigo
A maldição de viver entre os malditos

E não há o que possa ser dito
Nada vai mudar
Sou apenas mais um, entre os tantos aflitos
Nada que possa ser dito
Carregarei comigo
A maldição de viver entre os malditos

Still Waiting

So lost and so empty

Trying to stay alive

And I am still waiting

For the tears I should cry

For the anger I should show out loud

I should scream

I’m still waiting

And a strange idea comes to my mind

That I should stop waiting and start to try

That I should stop crying and start to fight

But then I look down and see

My broken wings

The chains in my bloody ankles

And I fall in my knees

Cause I should be young and free

Yeah I should be young and free

I can’t help this tear

Cause I should be young and free

For the anger I should show out loud

I should scream

I’m still waiting

Solitary and fool

Waiting for someone

To put music on her desperate songs

And give a voice to these silent pains

Be alive in so many different ways

Cause I should be young and free

Yeah I should be young and free

I can’t help this tear

Cause I should be young and free

I’m still waiting

Let me, drag me

In the back, something
Trying to drag me
To my world, where I belong
Away from here


But let me be
It’s where I should be
Although I’m dying
Although I’m bleeding

Who I am supposed to be
What I should say
Who I was made to be
The choice I should make

Stop trying to drag me
To where I want to be

But I want to
Take me, take me
And set me free

Set me free from who I am supposed to be
Set me free because I am dying in here
Don’t set me free because I was made to this

But I want to
Take me, take me
And set me free

Essa pequena letra de música (sem música) que acabei de postar aí em baixo já nasceu muito importante para mim. Ela retrata o relacionamento de dois personagens novos, que me cativaram desde o primeiro momento.

 Essa nova história ainda está no primeiro capítulo. Mas eu pretendo, mais cedo possível, postar algo sobre no blog Darkness Maiden em Prosa. Desejem-me sorte e inspiração.

Lullaby

 And now you're lying your head in my chest
Crying that you never wanted your life to go this way
And now you're bleedind once again
But this time you just cannot find a way to stop the pain

 Then I hear yout tired voice asking me to bring you back from the hole you have become
I feel your tear falling down through my skin
I fell your pain, I feel your agonny

 Sweet kid, don't cry
You know I'll be here
When you close your eyes
And silently fall asleep

 We know some times we need more then empty words to kill the agony
We know we need more to silence this scream inside of us

 Sweet kid, take my hand
And let's walk away

 Sad kid, don't cry
It wont always be this way

Never

Não é dos meus melhores... Mas com certeza é dos mais verdadeiros



This was never what I wanted
This was never what I craved
While my tears keep falling
All I wish is to get away

Will I ever have a life?
Will I ever have a choice?
Will I have the right to fight?
Be bounded here… no more

When will you see?
The life you choose
Is not for me
Neither to you

You keep me here
In this glass cage
You built to me
How much more can I stand?

And yet, it’s what makes me write
It’s what makes me be
When it comes the time
Will I choose be myself?
Or will I choose be free?

Staying here for so long
I can see what I’m without
But I don’t know what is beyond
Could I breathe when I’m out?

I cried so many times
Asking you to free me
I found my self bleeding so many times
I tasted the blood
And it felt good

And, yes! It’s what makes me write
It’s what makes me be
When it comes the time
Will I choose be myself?
Or will I choose be free?

And in the end,
My keeper,
I realize
I should thank
For make me bleed
Making who I am

And when it comes the time
I know I won’t have to chose
My eyes in you will lie
And the choice will be with you

Darkness Maiden em Prosa

A partir de agora, tudo que for escrito por mim em prosa será postado aqui.
 Os comentários da crônica e do conto que estavam aqui já foram transferidos, e eu agradeço a todos vocês pelos elogios.
 Não deixem de visitar o Darkness Maiden em prosa. Prometo que sempre havera uma novidade lá.
 Até mais.

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/Anny01

http://jardimdosanjosesquecidos.blogspot.com/

Guardem isso, vai lhes ser muito útil.

Eu indico

Para quem quer ler críticas bem escritas e sinceras (porém sem a arrogancia dos críticos de jornais) sobre livros e etc. e acompanhar uma escritora certamente dotada de talento:

www.diarioumaescritora.blogspot.com

Podem ter certeza de que não divulgo nada do que não acredito. Se está aqui, tem o selo de qualidade Darkness Maiden ;)

Handle This

I can stand this all alone
I don’t need your indulgence
There will never be someone
Who can understand
Who would be here when I find my end

I can handle this
I can handle this all alone
Please don’t care about this
Please don’t care about my tears
They will dry on their on

I know I am
Enough to myself
I now I’ll never need

I know I am
Alone forever
You will be never here

Oh don’t care
Please don’t care
Please don’t care about my tears

I can handle this
I will kill alone
All my fears

You break me
Again and again
And you ask me
To don’t be like this

Well, I can’t smile
But I can promise you
You will never see my tears

Don’t worry
Please don’t worry about my tears
I am alone
And I’ll stand alone all of my pain
I will kill my hopes
I will be okay

Oh don’t care
Please don’t care
Please don’t care about my tears

I can handle this
I will kill alone
All my fears

And inside
This pain grows
Of someone sad and insecure
Someone lonely and scared
Someone who’ll be just a kid forever
Someone who forgot all that matters

But don’t care
Please don’t care about me
I know who I am
I can handle this…

Go to The Rain

Don't be decieved by the blue sky
You Know, I know
Soon here will come the rain
And it's not gonna be okay

Look to the horizon
and go to the direction of the rain
Fell the water washing all your pain

If you are afraid of the fears
You know that they'll be always here
You know that they will gain on you
You know that they will gain on me

Don't be afraid
Look to the horizon
and follow the rain
Feel at last it wash all your pain
Away

(Uma pequena mensagem de ano novo. Felizes aqueles que entenderem)

Somos os Condenados

Eu sinto o vazio se abatendo sobre você
O mesmo vazio se abatendo sobre mim
E não há o que se possa fazer
A agonia seguirá os condenados, conduzindo-os ao triste fim

Condenados a viver a semi vida
Sentir pela metade
Viver em agonia

O olhar daquele que se ama como uma adaga cravada ao peito
Sentido tudo o que foi vivido
Esvaindo-se por entre os dedos

Sentindo ao extremo o que há para ser sentido
Para que depois tudo pareça morto,
Apagado, sem sentido

Podemos lutar, tentar acordar
Do doce tranze que nos leva cada vez mais longe, para a escuridão
Tentar viver, respirar
Mas não há nada que nos tire da lembrança,
que nos entregue um novo coração

Condenados a arrastar correntes
Vivendo das memórias, antigos sentimentos
De um passado que corroe nossas mentes
Distorcendo a verdade sobre todos os momentos

E a cada momento que nos vermos
Morreremos de dor
Cada vez que os vermos
Morreremos de dor
Ansiando, precisando
Saber o que realmente é o amor

Condenados a viver sem uma resposta
Uma vida pela metade
A sentir pela metade
Um amor que não nos toca

Mesmo quando tudo parece bem, fantasmas ao fundo
Fazendo-nos relembrar, perguntar
O que poderia ter sido
Fazendo doer
O corte mais profundo

A mágoa mais profunda
Habitando o peito
A doce corrosiva melancolia
Em cada pensamento


E o que nos resta: o medo
O medo dos condenados
O medo de que no fim
Continuemos os mesmos
Sem a vida inteira
Sem as respostas
Sem os sentimentos

Sem saber, no final, o que foi verdadeiro
O que existiu
O que valeu a pena
Ou de saber que tudo, no final, não passou de um grande erro.

Breath no More

Eu nunca pensei que a realidade pudesse machucar tanto
Que uma dor pudesse destruir alguém por dentro
E que sonhos virariam pesadelos
por causa de um engano

Nunca pensei que fosse preciso morrer para viver em paz
Sentir a liberdade que só a morte nos trás
E a tristeza que se sente quando se percebe que tudo ficou para traz

Sempre soube que as correntes me fariam sangrar
E que seria parte de minha sina
Mas nunca pensei que precisaria dessa tristeza como alguém normal precisa de ar

Mas não quero mais respirar

Eu renego tudo do que preciso
Porque eu morro enquanto vivo
E na verdade isto não é viver

Quem disse que a dor compensaria a alegria?
Que chorar vale no final os sorrisos?
Este motivo que eu jamais consegui ver.

Depois que se vê a luz
É ainda mais cego quando a escuridão retorna
Agora eu luto para não mais me render a esta dor que me toma

A vã esperança de que algo pode mudar, algum dia
De que eu esquecerei como é sofrer
De superar a agonia
É o que me mata todos os dias

Eu não quero mais respirar

Não quero mais esperar

A vida sem a ilusão de ser feliz
(Pois eu sei que, aqui, talvez em todo lugar, felicidade é ilusão)
Sem o lítio que vos cobre os olhos
É doída, mas verdadeira
É verdadeira, mas em vão

E eu não quero mais respirar

Viver de dor não é viver
Tanto quanto viver de ilusão
A vida é algo que habita em nossas mentes
Enquanto definhamos, um por um
De maneiras diferentes

Aos Mestres, Com Carinho (N)

Não costumo explicar meus poemas... Vou me limitar a dizer que este é mais dirigido aos professores e quaisquer outras pessoas que "ensinam" como devemos lidar com a vida em sociedade...
Esse aí é mais um da série "escritos durante a prova de matemática" (é a hora em que eu mais me revolto... quando você tem que colocar pra fora, naquele papel, tudo que te enfiaram goela a baixo durante o bimestre), Eu teria colocado atrás da prova de matemática mesmo... mas aí lembrei que o professor não sabe inglês. Como a prova de inglês foi logo em seguida, foi lá que eu coloquei (teacher Rita é minha fã =p). Agora é rezar pra que isso caia nas mãos da psicóloga e... (6)
rsrs
bom... aproveitem



Why would I want to stay alive
If all of this is killing me inside?

My heart 's still beating
but my brain had stoped thinking
what am I?

Cry for your lost life
Be what they think you're suposed to be
but never ever never ever
say anything

Cry of pain inside
Kill your dream of being free
but never ever never ever
let them see

They tell you life is cruel
but just to hide that they are cruel
While they tell you what to feel and what to do

You don't just have to have blood running trhough your veins to be alive
You must have the will
You must not hide

You all may try to tame me
If you can't, try to fight me
Yet you can't, try to kill me
but, even dead, I will be always me

and that's never ever never ever
What you think I should be

(that's why I'm dying in here)

COMBO!

Passei tanto tempo sem postar, que agora venho com três poemas de uma vez só. E, para variar, um mais depressivo que o outro.
Esse que vem a seguir foi escrito depois que eu terminei a prova de ingles em cinco minutos... A professora não aguentava mais me ver quicando na cadeira e resolveu me mandar escrever algo (disse que ia acrescentar na nota, devo cobrar dela? rs). Os que vem abaixo do primeiro foram escritos um em casa e outro na escola, também na aula de ingles... Mas porque eu estava com preguiça de fazer a lição na apostila mesmo, então resolvi gastar meu tempo com algo mais criativo ( :P )
bem... aproveitem


NOT NAMED

No more time to cry
no more reason why
just walk, and never look behind

silence and solitude
both curse and salvation
only they hear my screams
while I beg to redemption

One more silent scream dies inside of me

I try to hold on in anciant dreams
but they're all gone from me
and I can't find them inside the hollow where once stayed a heart

One more silent scream dies inside of me

And while I spend my time
just trying to explain
inside of me I feel growing a pain

fed by all the broken dreams,
she kills her thirst in my tears

I see my blood running once again
Why am I still not dead?

No more time to cry
no more reason why
just walk, and never look behind

You're still not dead
because this is not a life.

30/06/09

Can't Take

Can I take the hollow after you filled it?
Can I take the emptiness?
Can I take the darkness after your light?
Can I take sadness after I new happiness?

I said
I said I wouldn’t miss anything I never had
Can I face not having anymore?
You became all that I was living for

Loneliness never had such a sad meaning
Sadness never was such a painful feeling
I will think of you in every tear
But you will never see me crying

Now I know
I can’t take the cold after it was so warm
Can’t take the silence after the sound of your voice
I cannot take your rejection
Is there a part of me that you haven’t destroyed?

So, please
Don’t walk away
I’ll be here doing what I promised
You never new
How much I need you

Damn you!
For making me live
And than you
Made me die again
I cannot take the death

I hate you!

But I cannot take hate after I had love
And after all I said
I cannot take anymore

Abaixo!

Abaixo!
Mais e mais profundo
Menos e menos luz
Abaixo!
Cavando o fundo do abismo,
O sofrimento me conduz

Não é suficiente
Mate-me mais uma vez
Bebe meu sangue
Rouba-me a sensatez

Mais e mais fundo
Mais e mais escuro
Menos vida, menos paz
Ainda assim, é lindo

Não são trevas,
É apenas ausência de luz
Não é suicídio
Deixo apenas minha vida para traz

Um demônio maldito
Um anjo salvador
Solidão
Toda redenção e toda dor

E já me basta

Sim, mentirei para mim mais uma vez
Já me basta, eu direi
Direi que suporto o vazio
E acreditarei

E me deixem todos
Um anjo, um demônio
O único capaz de me compreender
De sorrir pacientemente enquanto morro

E já me basta

Não há mais tempo para passo após passo
Só me resta cair
Cruel e rapidamente
Para o fundo do poço

Abaixo!

10/08/09

The Cage

Maybe I don't want it to keep on this
Maybe I don't want to go on
Maybe I don't care about it

But, please, let me be
Because choices are the most precious thing

This cage is killing me
All the rules, all the fear
More and more walls
and I just can't breath

Please, let me be
Because choises are the most precious thing

I see ghosts, I see my past
Comming to kill me one more time
Make me bleed
Don't want to die (again)

Don't let it die on me

Please, let me be
Because choices are the most precious thing

And all my tears you can't see
And all my screams were silenced on me
All my memories
I can't keep on this

Please, let me be
Because all my choices were stolen of me

FREE ME!

Maybe it feels like
But I do not love my pain
I do not love my sorrow
I do not love my death

I’m just waiting some one to free me
Cause I cannot do it alone
Just waiting some one to heal me
Cause I cannot do it alone

Free me
Break these chains of sorrow and insecurity
Free me
Let me live what I used to be

Its always taking over me heart
Always taking over my mind
And than it’s controlling me once again

Free me
Break these chains of sorrow and insecurity
Free me
Let me live what I used to be

This screaming of mine
Will be heard at least this time?

It’s a second
Just a second
But I feel myself again
Nothing but a second…

So I scream once again
So I beg once again
I can’t stop hope growing up on my heart

Free me!
Break these chains of sorrow and insecurity
Free me!
Let me live what I used to be

Let me fly!
I want to leave the ground
Let me fly!
I want to rise up from the bottom

…now the darkness pull me down again
Now the darkness take over me again
And now
I am
Not myself
Any more…

Free me!